How a TV series inspired me write this post- ''Jane The Virgin''

I know I have been off the blogging radar for some time now. Besides being busy with work, I haven't had the chance or must I say had the courage to write about many things that have been keeping me from writing a post.

Today, I am determined to write this post without worrying too much and to tell myself that I have the ability to get back to sharing my life here like I have been doing for the past couple of years and I must thank the TV show ''Jane The Virgin'' for making me do this and for taking me on a very personal journey.

Before I start sharing about the TV show, let me share something crazy that happened from the time I published my last post.

Despite years of apprehension and consideration and fear of needles, I was pleased to get my first tattoo, and I thought one would be enough, but nah, the second tattoo followed just weeks after the first and so did my third and fourth. Hehe!!

Maybe I was brave because I found it easier to handle physical pain that distracted me from emotional pain. And maybe the intense turmoil inside me gave me an impulse to wreak havoc but I didn't want the world to know. Getting inked was better than broken stuff.

Anyway, let's get back to the TV show...just a few weeks ago, I was scrolling through Netflix and stumbled across the TV series ''Jane The Virgin'' and I haven't logged off since,

I am surprised it opened so many doors of emotion, suspense, love, sadness, happiness, thrill, surprises, twists, comedy, family, passion, belief, profession, money, tragedy, drama, romance and so much more. To put it simply, it is the perfect TV series that I needed in my present life!!

When I started to watch this show I had no idea it was going to teach me a real-life lesson. I have learned so much from each character. I cried, laughed, loved, gasp in shock, with all of them, and I in fact missed the fact that I was watching something on the screen.

Here are a few things the main characters have taught me through my emotional journey:

Sexuality and Chastity don't define you.

At times I wonder if I am bisexual and I honestly try to not worry about it. There are instances when my daughter caught me gazing at a girl's thighs and legs. If I see a lady with a nice figure I always check them out a little bit. Same with men. This doesn't mean that I need to label my identity as bisexual!! I just appreciate nice things to look at.

I think I do not have to conform to the expectations of a label. Everyone is different and the important thing it is up to you whether to choose a label or not, whatever you're comfortable with. For me, it doesn't matter who I love, as long as I enjoy the company, let my feelings flow, and let the vibe connect.

So what is Chastity?

Chastity is a choice to make daily because it is something we want what's best for ourselves and for those we love. It is the understanding that living within the proper boundaries for sex makes us free. Again, it is all a personal choice to practice chastity and deliberately refrain from having sex usually for religious reasons or whatever personal reasons. Just because you are a Virgin it doesn't mean you are a freak. Just because I am not having sex doesn't mean I am broken. For me, sex is the most intimate and personal thing that I can do only with the person I love and trust. Well, I know I can't say much about this because, in today's society, hook-up culture, sex has become commercialized. It is more like a form of entertainment or pass time and it is all about pleasure.

You have to let people go even if you don't want to. (Great reminder at right time in my life)

At times ''letting go'' is really easy for some especially when we want to forget our past life, start a new chapter, or just breathe fresh air into life. But...

...what if we don't want to let go and deep down we really want to hold on, even though we have to let go and it doesn't make any sense at all to hold on!!!

There are times when life presents us with circumstances where we must detach from a person or situation against our wishes. And it is one of the hardest things on the planet. The process is more painful than we want it to be. And letting go of someone you love is even harder when your feelings for them haven't changed a teeny tiny bit!!

I am still trying to let go of someone in my life even after anticipating the pain is unbearable. And no matter how many times the other voice says '' it is time-consuming, painful, and energy-draining, PLEASE just LET GO'' ..and trust me I see NO FUTURE with this someone. Still, I am not focusing on letting go but living my life missing this someone, loving this someone, and I am sure one day I will realize thinking of this someone isn't hurting me much and will not have the craving to talk or check my phone from the time I wake up and hit the bed like I have fewer things to do in life!!!

Anyway, I also realized loving this person doesn't mean I have to express my love, I can love without telling them, and I can imagine myself in this someone's arms, and fall asleep. I can also miss them and cry.

I think I should try to follow the saying ''Out of sight, out of mind''.

Follow your passion and dreams.

I know it's a cliché ''when it comes to your career, you have to follow your passion''. Well, I am sorry but it is not very sound advice. I will tell you why, first of all, choosing to follow your passion is risky, and to be honest, understanding my strengths and my other skills, took 35-plus years.

I realized this long back that my PERSONALITY and I didn't fit into the Corporate World. I am still a very very non-corporate person, not sure if this is even a word. Rules, policies, reports, and meetings are so not ME. I like to be natural, free, and normal. To be honest, I am not living a life in the corporate world but surviving. Truth is I am not happy with what I am doing but certainly grateful and blessed that it takes care of my family and bills.

I still daydream about what it would be like to start my own business while immersed in my corporate career because I know what am I passionate about, what I am interested in, and what it takes to start a business.

Well, you can't think about your passion and interest when you are the only freaking breadwinner in the family!!

My passion is fashion, a boutique, or a dance institute. I will write more about this later.

Your Family will always be there for you even when things are at their worst.

Without a doubt, family is the most important thing. The warmth, care, friendship, and love one gets from a family are priceless. But family is not always blood, it is not just about whose blood runs through your veins or the DNA, for me family is the people who want me in theirs. Those who love me, respect me, and truly care about my well-being and be there for me.

My chosen family will always be more important than my blood.

When life throws you a curveball...Inhala, Exhala!!

Life throws all sorts of unexpected things our way. If we let a challenge prevent us from attaining our goals, we will never achieve anything in life. After a curveball, it’s important to first pause and breathe.

We are sometimes posed with situations in our lives that infuriate us. It is important to take a moment to breathe in and out when we are angry, anxious, stressed, worried, or triggered. A simple formula that can make all the difference in responding appropriately to the situation is to practice the PAUSE. That pause could mean a few deep breaths as you allow the reaction to fade and invite your balance to return.

We should mentally hit that “PAUSE,” as if we’re reaching for that remote control, and then press PLAY again to continue in a better way.

I find myself saying ''Inhala, Exhala'' which is something I picked up while watching this show if I am stressing over something.

The Three Musketeers!!

Jane The Virgin show was based on three powerful Latinas being in charge of their lives, there was no man in the house. The Mother, Daughter, and Grand-daughter. Just like my family. And trust me it is not easy to be a single mother in India because acceptance is still a big question here. It is an everyday battle!!

There were no men's shoes or no shirts tucked into wardrobes or no shaving cologne or cream. As you already know I lost my daddy during my teenage and my marriage did not work out, and no luck with any man until now ...so yeah there was and there is no man in the house, just three women, and honestly, we didn't need a man, we are taking care of it all.

It is OK to ask for help.

I agree it's hard for some of us to ask for help. It is a common misconception that it's a sign of weakness and violates our desire to be independent and capable because we want to come across as strong and stalwart in any situation.

Well, I learned that asking for help is actually a strength from the show JTV. It shows that I am not weak by asking for help but others to relate to me. It also shows courage and a willingness to admit vulnerability. I learned that it is ok to not to feel like a superhero at times and to remember the fact that I am just human and that's how it's supposed to be.

I can relate more to this show JTV and I would like to end this post by saying I am no longer spending my energy fighting back the negative thoughts that really can't wipe out my life. And I am going to mentally say to the other voice '' thank you for sharing, now F*** off'' as there is no point fighting with it as it will only get louder and louder.

Time to remind myself that I am much more than my thoughts and feelings and time to channel all my energy toward creating the life I want for myself.

I am glad I watched this show which offered me a chance to see myself on screen.

To be continued...