Love again after a Divorce?

Is finding love after divorce really possible?? Yes, it is possible to love again after a divorce. It actually helps to move forward, to be whole mentally, emotionally, financially, and spiritually.

Some are ready to date or fall in love in two months after a divorce, some date or even marry to try to prove something to an ex, and some need years - like me.

I think it is important to experience the emotions, pain, and time to pick up pieces associated with divorce. And the questions like,

-will I ever be able to love again?

-is the risk of being hurt again worth it?

-will I ever trust someone again?

-am I comfortable asking for what I need?

-does my fear of loss cloud my perspective?

-how to get past this betrayal and heal?

I have had this repetitive stubborn list of questions trouble me and made me go back to recall the sequence of events that made me step out of my marriage.

After facing a betrayal, I questioned myself and doubted whether I was worthy of love and care. Because after all, the person who betrayed me clearly felt I wasn't. I even blamed myself and felt ashamed by what has happened and how others may see and treat me.

I was simply not able to comprehend what's happened? Because none of it seemed to make any sense to me. My self-esteem has fallen significantly and I doubted whether I even deserve to be happy.

Anyway coming back to finding LOVE subject.

Yes, I too have been in love after divorce. Like I said before, I have always been a great believer in love and old-school romance.

Instead of longing for a very muscular handsome, tall and rich guy, I wanted someone decent with common sense, funny, simple, who appreciates and loves life just the way it is.

It all started off as some kind of fairytale. I was very much in love. I felt like the most amazing woman alive after ages. Life felt complete and Romance was fantastic and it all made sense but

there was something just not right about everything going on..it all went downhill.

I started to feel ''lonely''. I understand even in the best relationship, you can sometimes feel alone. But you know that nagging feeling that something is a little..off. Living with that feeling day after day was debilitating.

He loved me. True. But I felt that he loved himself more. I felt men who are in love with themselves are good and perfect at romance and making someone fall for them, but they really can't keep the relationship going for their lives.

I thought it was me who was imagining things and he was still the same man I fell in love with. When it comes to relationships and dating it is hard not to feel that you are a victim. You start to think you are the problem.

But the old saying ''trust your gut'' or ''trust your instincts'' can certainly direct you toward the best path for you.

"I have begun to listen to the teaching my blood whispers to me."

- Hermann Hesse, 'Demian'.

-The fairy tale ended!!!

I know that things don't necessarily turn out like I hope or dream.

But guess what? I finally realized that I am not some Cinderella and there is no Prince coming to save or love me. I understood that it is more important to be in charge of my own happiness and NOT WAIT around for some fools to complete me.

I knocked on a few doors and turned every stone but the LOVE I searched everywhere for, couldn't come to me from anywhere BEYOND me. No one but myself can only love me the way my heart, mind, and soul crave to be loved.

Well, trust me it is not easy and this thought, this realization did not happen overnight. It was slow and the healing took time but remarkable.

Today, I am confident and recognize that I do not need someone else's approval to feel good about myself. I don't need anyone's sympathy, pity, adoration, and validation.

I don't need that ''man'' who I have to triple text to get a response back.

I don't want to spend time trying to impress a person who literally doesn't care about me. It's exhausting!!!

I don't have to change myself and try to fix myself because I think I am not good enough for him.

I don't need to give and give and give to someone who is only going to use me in the end.

In all honesty, I know I can't force love, relationships, people to love me.

Today, I feel Blessed and Happy when I see a better version of myself and I agree - struggling every day to make the ends meet yet smiling confidently.

I would like to post a very beautiful writing which I recently had the good fortune of reading on Instagram @johnwbeswick and every time I read it, I can relate.

I am enough just the way I am. I feel happiest in my skin, my mind, and my soul.

My lovely readers, if you like my post please leave your valuable comments. I would love to read and reply :)