The Power of Feeling Secure

I just realized I’ve spent around 11K on this blog domain, all so I could post my random scribblings... and of course, I didn’t use it the way I thought I would. It’s not like I didn’t have the time, I actually love writing, it’s something I enjoy. But lately, I feel like I’ve lost interest in pretty much everything I used to care about. It’s not even just the stuff I was passionate about, it’s everything!!

My days now are a blur and every day feels the same. I wake up after barely three hours of sleep, log in, and work as if I run the company. I put on a brave face, showing everyone how strong I am, and then go about my responsibilities at home, as if I still have all the energy to manage everything that’s expected of me. The truth is, I’m running on empty. Then I stay up late into the night, only to wake up and do it all over again.

In my last post, I scribbled about how people can be selfish, and this feels like a sequel, just with a new theme: feeling secure. Personally, I think it’s one of the most important feelings we can experience, and it’s one of the best things we can offer others.

• Let your loved ones know when you’ve reached your destination so they don’t worry.

• Feeling safe enough to fall asleep in your partner’s arms, even when you’re in an unfamiliar place.

• Holding hands while crossing a busy street, trusting that they’ll guide you safely.

• Checking in after a tough day, even with a simple, “How was your day?”

• Sharing your vulnerabilities and knowing you won’t be judged for them.

• Hearing someone say, “I’m here for you,” even when things are falling apart, and you don’t know what’s next.

All these things boil down to one key feeling: security. But what happens when you stop giving or receiving that?

Recently, my daughter went to a friend’s house for a party. I didn’t want to be “that parent,” the one who’s always hovering. Plus, she finally found a group of friends she felt comfortable with, so I let her go. She sent me a message saying, “Reached, Mummy,” along with her location, and I tried to relax.

But a couple of hours later, my brain, of course, went into overdrive. You know, running through every worst-case scenario possible, because why not make things extra stressful for yourself? I called her, no answer. So, naturally, I called her about 20 more times. Anxiety, meet overreaction. My body’s shaking, I’m trying to contact her friends, no luck there either. Finally, she calls back, casually saying something about watching a movie.

And that’s where I’m like, seriously? All I wanted was a quick, “Hey Mom, I’m safe, no need to freak out, I’ll be home soon.” One simple message and I could have avoided the whole “stomach tied in knots” situation. Letting your loved ones know where you are or how you’re doing isn’t about trust issues, it’s about giving the person on the other end the peace of mind they deserve.

On the flip side, some people don’t understand the importance of acknowledging someone else’s anxiety or insecurities..you have the people who don’t quite get that, instead of saying, “I know how you feel, and it’s going to be alright,” they hit you with, “Well, what can you do? We just have to deal with it.” Yeah, thanks for that super helpful insight.

Honestly, acknowledging someone’s emotions is the best thing you can do. I’m not even talking about sympathy or empathy, we all want to feel that someone has our back, whether we’re at work, at home, or just out living our lives. Feeling secure means knowing that, no matter what happens, someone is there to catch you when you fall.

When you don't receive that sense of security, it can quickly unravel everything inside you. You start questioning everything, am I too much? Are my feelings too heavy for others to handle? Why does it feel like I’m screaming into the void, unheard and unseen? And once you go down that path, it can spiral into something much darker, depression. You’ll try to express it, often in the messiest, most vulnerable way, only to be met with judgment. People start saying, “She’s not okay. She needs help, maybe a psychiatrist.” They’ll focus on the symptoms of your pain rather than understanding the weight you’ve been carrying all this time. People turn the tables on you, saying, “You wanted help, didn’t you?” missing the point entirely. You didn’t want to be a problem to be fixed, you just wanted to be seen, to feel secure, to know someone’s got your back.

The hardest part is that we don’t always know how to say, “I’m not okay.” We carry it all, the weight of life, expectations, and struggles until it’s unbearable. That’s why it’s so important to give and receive that security, that reassurance.

When I think about feeling secure, I’m reminded of the simplest yet most profound moments in my life, like my daughter’s hand in mine or the warmth of a friend’s smile. These moments remind me that, no matter how chaotic life gets, there’s always a safe harbor in the people we love. And it’s in that harbor that we can truly be ourselves, free from judgment and filled with the comfort of knowing we are seen, heard, and VALUED.

So, here’s what I’m learning: It’s ok to ask for reassurance. It’s ok to express your emotions and expect others to care. And most importantly, it’s ok to make sure the people you love feel secure. It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give someone, and it’s something we all deserve.

Cheers!!